Chuck and I have a funny relationship. I have to limit how much of him I read (same with Henry Miller). Somewhere in between the words is express written permission to be a lunatic drunk, an asshole par none raging at the world with no particular grievance in mind. In small sane doses I can keep the beasts at bay. I often feel alone in my affliction. Are others cursed with this? The superficial personality of some douche bag author eclipsing your own. Or is that just a cop out for being a bad drunk with out the redeeming quality of a genius talent?
Now, understand I do not require hours of Bukowski to be turned. Many times a anise liquor of a certain variety was enough. And to be fair, reading Bronte seems to have little or no effect on me one way or another. In the end I truly believe that all men have good and bad living in them. We all are capable of such great acts of kindness and love and utter acts of senseless evil. And if you have never brought that mad beast out you are only living half your life.
Now, in our older age on a softer coast it seems that the irrational idiot has but on teva sport sandals while wearing socks insisting on listening to Jack Johnson. It runs away from any kind of spirit that comes in a 1.5 oz glass. But I try not to tempt fate too often with Chuck's poems of derelict behavior of a rioting soul. Who needs that shit anyway?
Jane, who has been dead for 31 years,
never could have
imagined that I would write a screenplay of our drinking
that it would be made into a movie
that a beautiful movie star would play her
I can hear Jane now: "A beautiful movie star? oh,
for Christ's sake!"
Jane, that's show biz, so go back to sleep, dear, because
no matter how hard they tried they
just couldn't find anybody exactly like
and neither can
"Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now."