As a lil country fucker I had certain disadvantages that I was born into. Sure, my mom was on her own and young, had no money, and all the rest but those weren't the real disadvantages in the end. I was born a huge nerd- didn't even have to try- came natural like. These problems weren't evident until I had fully developed around the age of 3. My family never really noticed because they are loving kind folk and in all reality were never worried about such things.
For example, a woman from a neighboring church came to call on my Grandma while she was watching me one day after school. The visitor noticed what she thought was an "afflicted boy" watching TV. I was sitting about a foot in front of the screen. My head tilted back so I could see through my bi-focals, my mouth agape so I could breathe as I had some nasal issues, and the volume extremely loud because of the tubes in my ears. My Grandma yelled a number of times for me to say hello. Being a polite boy I did as was told and as I turned she was probably taken aback by the fact that I had a rather large patch covering my right eye.
I had what some refer to as the "jealous eye", as one eye was always watching what the other eye was doing. Thanks to the great insurance my mom had through her work we were able to afford some corrective surgery that required me to wear an eye-patch for quite a while. Like any little kid I was blissfully unaware to my own self. Oblivious to my distinct un-normalness. I thought my eye patch was the best thing that had ever happened to me. This eye patch would set me apart from the rest of the kids at New Covenant Christian School. I would be different and thus automatically cool. It would be years before I would make radical attempts to "normalize" myself through rock n' roll, books, and a various regimen of self-prescribed substances.
Now, I notice people in eye-patches every where I go. They seem to haunt my reality. Like a weird wonderful reminder of that little boy. I look back at that little guy and can't help but love him. Although, I wish I could warn him just how awful public middle school was going to be. So in honor of that little man here is our ode to badass motherfuckers who wore eye patches.